Its October......

Its October... my favourite month of the year. Its the month that my mom was born, I was born, my eldest daughter was born, my niece was born and a few other significant people in my life. It was the month that my ex-husband and I pledged our love when I was just 17, it was the month a lot of good things happen.

Its another 19 days till my birthday. Usually by now I will have my birthday wish list up on my blog as every year, and my birthday would be celebrated the whole month till November. I do admit I am a bit flamboyant when it comes to my birthday, the most important day of my life because I was born on that day and if I was born on any other day then it would not be me. Makes sense? Maybe not.

I have got a few listed items in my head but somehow rather, I don't really have the mood to list them down yet. Perhaps its because the one thing that I really want is something beyond my reach and control, that it renders everything else material and insignificant. Pathetic me. I guess if I bought myself all the diamonds in the world I would still feel amiss because of that one thing that I really wanted, I cannot get. I hate failures, I hate it when I can't get what my heart's desire. But I guess God is teaching me that he knows what's best for me. I know it, but sometimes I forget. So if I don't get what I want, despite trying my best, then maybe it is best that I just focus on the other things. But what if that thing is good for you, and that is the only thing you want now?

Well, the best thing to do is just tell myself that if it is meant to be, it is meant to be. For now I am focusing on my two girls, who are extremely demanding. Perhaps they are starting to realize how cool their mum really is, that they want to be more involved in my life. Speaking of which. I better head home, my babies are waiting.....

October is not over yet. Perhaps God is fair enough to give me that one thing that I really want so much.