I'm fine thank you.....

I guess my last blog post touched too many hearts. Thank you for those who called and texted me to see whether I was okay or not. Thank you also for those who took the time to spend some time with me during the weekend. I really appreciate the gestures given, it shows how many good friends around me who care. Yes, indeed I am a lucky girl.

I think I'm okay now, which actually translates to able to function normally on a day to day basis. Emotionally hurt, spiritually my faith in God will guide me to do what's best. I find myself asking God everyday why must it come to this, what was the lesson being taught to me now? Its okay. God is fair, things will turn out how it is suppose to be.

In my desperation, I rekindled an old habit of long walks in the mornings. It was a habit inculcated during the years my late grandmother use to live with us in Taman Tun. She use to wake me at 5-6 am and take long strolls around the playground in front of Taman Zaaba. We would do up to 10 rounds or until the Subuh prayer calling was heard, and we'd go in, shower and pray together. I usually fall back to sleep, but sometimes I would stay up and prepare breakfast for the family. When I take my early morning walks - usually about 6-7, sometimes I think of her. I miss her a lot, the stories, the advices and her matriarch demeanor. Unfortunately, the last encounter before she left the world wasn't as sweet as I wanted it to be because we were in a dispute since she did not agree on the way I dressed. Being a teenager at that time, I was rebellious. But I do regret not able to ask for forgiveness before she left, I have yet to pay homage to her grave and its been 10 years.

A year later, my mum joined her. Speaking of my late mother, it was her birthday last Sunday. I was having my time of the month so I couldn't visit her. But that Sunday I felt her presence in the house, it was a sooth and calming feeling and it help me sleep better. I got up at 6.00am feeling fresh. I have to make a quick stop to her grave sometime this week. My schedule is too packed. My usual trademark if I visit - 3 perfect roses. We both shared a passion for flowers.

People usually take for granted the important people in their lives until they are gone. Sometimes I do wonder if I go, will there be many who will miss me?