It has been a hectic week and I think I've donned down too many caffeine and super vitamins that my body can handle. Its finally Saturday, the 14th. My tickets confirmed, my bags are packed, I'm ready to go... or am I?
Passport and money checked... just need to trade in some rupiah before I leave to go to the airport. It is a great change..... despite the fact that I had a caffeine overdose last night...... and ended up sleeping around 2 hours only. I feel like shit but I'll survive... just another cup of latte would do, and perhaps some proper breakfast.
I have to admit, this is a nice change. A funny way of God forcing me to go on vacation from all the hectic happenings of my life. Yes, I've been hurt, I was depressed, my heart crushed, my spirits dampened - being sent for a relief mission perhaps is the one thing that can help me get back on my feet. Going to a place of disaster, seeing people's suffering first hand, and sparing all your energy and brains to help them. What better way to make me forget my petty problems. Other people have more profound issues than I do. I am starting to see why God directed me to go in the first place.
I have always believed that everything that happens around me occurs for some reason. There is no probability of chance. Everything is planned according to God's will, it depends on us how we interpret and make good use of it. Everything that occurs has a reason - every happiness we get, every trouble we encounter, every person we meet. People may not agree with me, but this is how I perceive the world. And I have told myself before that God Almighty is my first lover, and because of this I believe he will protect me from any harm, he will give me strength to do the things I have to do, and as long as I believe it, I can achieve anything he has planned for me to do. No love for a man can ever replace this. Its not even worth it. I'm not saying that I plan to remain single the rest of my life, but I would if that is God's willing.
I'm just praying I come home safe and sound, so that I can kiss and hug my babies again. Its thrilling and exciting and scary at the same time, but God will guide me, I will do great, and my clinic will be good even in my absence, and some good Samaritan will help me overcome my company dilemma, so everything will be just fine. Amen.
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