Patience......

When my mum fell sick everyone told me patience....
When my dad remarried everyone told me patience....
When I was thrown out of the house at a mere age of 18 everyone told me patience....
When my mum died everyone told me patience....
When my dad asked me to marry at such an immature state everyone told me patience....
When I went into 12 hours of labour everyone told me patience......
When my baby was diagnosed with Archold Chiari Type II malformation and needed surgery, the same thing everyone told me patience.....
When my mother in law was diagnosed to have breast cancer everyone told me patience...
When she died of it everyone told me patience.....
When my husband didn't live up to his manhood everyone told me patience...
When we fought and he broke my wrist everyone told me patience...
When I went through bitter divorce everyone told me patience....
When I was separated from my babies for more than 6 months everyone told me patience....
When I was left by my investor partner people told me patience....
When I was suddenly told by the man I love he was marrying another woman people told me patience....
When I keep getting rejected for loans to help my business, people say patience...
When I am forced to live 3-4 months without a proper salary people say patience...

Sometimes I do wonder where has patience brought me?
Nevertheless, over the years I've become a real strong willed woman....
However sometimes I just wish life was a lot simpler for me than how it is.....
That God will stop making me go through these painful experiences....
Although I know its a sign that God loves me....
Because God tests his servants he care about.... and that we as the servant do have the capability to overcome whatever he puts in front of us, as long as we believe.

But sometimes I do wonder what is the point of putting everything I want in front of my face.....
Make me work extremely hard for it....
And then take it away.....
Only to have me worry constantly.....
Although I do believe God will aid me when I am out of ideas to help myself.

I guess I'm just down...
And I just seriously need to get myself back on my feet...
Because if I remain sad internally..
My whole world is going to collapse around me....
Whether I like it or not......

Its hard being a Libra....
The strongest and weakest point is the heart...
When you are in love... you feel like you can conquer the world...
But when that love is taken from you.....
Sometimes you just feel like life is not worth living...
And then your whole world starts collapsing around you....

But God didn't put me through living hell to give up so easily....
And I swore to myself before that no man will ever bring me down...
And I am always a lady of my word...
No matter how hard it seems....
I just have to keep patient and trudge on....
There is always a great reward at the end of it....