Check list............

Its another 3 days before I'm suppose to go one my one week so-called vacation. What astounds me is the fact that they haven't emailed me my flight details and itinerary for the day. I'm starting to wonder whether are they keen to send me off or not. For those who know me well enough, you would also know that I am highly particular about time and travel plans. Oh well, I guess tomorrow I have to call them again because if they want to cancel, I already have a list of clients to schedule in next week.

I am highly exhausted this week. Mentally and emotionally drained its taken a toll on my physique. Its not easy being a young entrepreneur but its not impossible also. And knowing me, challenges are something that keeps my head going. I'd die of boredom if I lived such a normal life. Maybe that's why my life is so dramatic. But I'll get through all this, I mean, at one point I still need to settle down.

I met a friend recently, dealing some important business. I told him about my current check mate situation where I am missing a guarantor to help me out. He asked about a mutual friend of ours, who unfortunately doesn't want to be my friend anymore. Which definitely went out of the question. He was quite shocked that our friendship ended abruptly, we've been such good friends for years. Well, I just brushed it off saying that it was okay, it was the guy's choice, and apparently perhaps he didn't regard me as such a good friend after all. We then touched on other issues and then I had to prepare for another meeting.

Last evening I felt like a truck rammed over me, minus the broken bones. After analyzing the situation, it crossed my mind that could it be emotional stress causing all this exhaustion. Maybe. I guess I'm still hurt from losing a close friend. The funny thing is that I am being reminded of him constantly that in a way it is driving me a bit bonkers really. Because it reminds me of something that I have no control over the outcome which frustrates me so much because I have always been a go-getter. I always believe that if I want something, and I work towards getting it and pray hard enough I will get it, no doubt. But I lost him, despite being extremely patient all the while, despite praying every single night until sometimes I ask God why he made us meet in the first place when our lives did not evolve around each other at all? I guess my heart will never be in peace until I get an answer. I just pray that he made the best decision of his life to exclude me completely out of it. Maybe its for the benefit of both of us. Maybe I should start doing the same?

Its almost 9 and I have a long list of things to do today. I have decided to ignore all the issues related to the heart until I come back from my relief mission. May God give me guidance to settle all my issues.