Its funny when you look upon your life in the past and start thinking, if there was anything you could change would you do it any different? Despite of a lot of heartache int he past, the answer to that question would still remain as a NO. Regardless of what has occurred in the past, it is what makes me who I am now.
Yes, I am not perfect, but at least I know who I am, I know what I want, and I know where I am heading. On top of all that I deeply believe my faith will guide me to a better life.
2 weeks ago, my little baby was sent to her daddy for the holidays. It was the most torturous fortnight ever for me. I noticed that I worked non-stop with little regard to myself. I barely ate, I barely slept. Sometimes I came home, sometimes I didn't. I went on more impromtu dates, although I have no interest in starting any new relationships at the moment. There was like a great chasm in my life, something of utmost importance.
And when she came back yesterday, I slept better, I smiled more. I was happier, I wanted to be home more. I guess if I didn't have kids, I would completely neglect myself, my life would not be stabilized, I wouldn't be focused. Definitely, they are an important part of me, that makes me work hard everyday to ensure that my two princesses would have a secured future.
When it comes to settling down again with a man, its not that I'm against the idea, but now isn't the best time perhaps. I cannot commit to the person, I am too independent and my children still need most of my attention. The only benefit would be sex, but after 3 years without it, well its not that bad.
But yesterday was the past, I'm living today, and tomorrow is a new day. I'm leaving relationship issues to God - I seem to suck bad when I try to have it my way.
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