End of another whirlwind mood swing....

One of the things about me that most people would realize after knowing me after some times is my periodical mood swings which on certain months are worst than others and certain days are even more unbearable. It actually contributes a lot to my unpredictability and perhaps scare off a lot of men too.

Last week was one of the worst. It was filled with temper tantrums, migraines and feeling of self-pity and worthlessness that was completely beyond my control. Yes, I am almost 30 but I still have raging hormone issues like I was 18. Zit break outs, chocolate cravings and sudden burst into tears, you name it. I guess perhaps its because I tell people I'm always 18, even my body reacts like when I was 18.

I was so distressed that I skipped work a few days, lay in bed for hours doing nothing and felt like there was impending doom. With my little girl and maid on holiday made it worst, because I was left all alone to dwell with my sorrows. Yeah, it sounded really bad, I know. It was actually. There were times where I would just wish someone would hug me and tell me that things would be okay, but being alone, there was nobody, and I started missing my mum too much. Life would be a lot simpler perhaps with her around, or maybe more complicated?

I started picking at my face, my skin, my hair, my body. I felt bloated, I was upset. I almost coloured my hair greenish brown. I almost chopped off my hair into a tomboy GQ style. I had insomnia, and felt a sudden craving for ciggies... Luckily, I still had some sense in my head, I decided to just trim my hair, not mess with colours and no ciggies. I ignored my face for a few days and stayed in the office more just so that I won't be too alone. I made appointments to meet people, and hang out with friends.

And finally this morning, I woke up with a smile because I suddenly feel okay. My menses arrived, and my mood swing disappeared. I went to work happy, laughed about few stuff and then made a few apology calls to few people I ignored or accidently passed certain not so nice statements (Hey, I'm just human). So I'm back to being myself again. Gees.... imagine this cycle another 28 days, but then I'm just a woman.