Thursday, April 9, 2009

Sometimes people just don't get it...

I know I wrote earlier saying that I did not want to talk about my ex-hubby anymore since he is already history. But after receiving the news from my lawyer I guess a few things needed to be cleared up.

After 3 months of being separated with my first daughter, I finally decided to let go her custody to the father since he insists that he wants to take care of her. But now when I have finally painfully decided on doing so, he refuses. Saying that he doesn't want to separate the kids and so he wants one week here and one week there. Are you insane?

This is why I would say my ex-hubby is quite an idiot. The reason I am willing to give him Aina's custody is not because I have given up on my daughter or not want to take care of her. But rather to provide her with stability, because the father is just too stubborn. Stability in the sense that she can enjoy proper school and life in a stable home. Not being passed around like a ball.

What would he gain from prolonging this custody case? Totalmente nada. His lawyer would reap more benefits because when the case is prolonged, he has excuse to charge more. I would definitely not step down and he may in fact at the end of it, lose custody of both kids, with the court deciding visitation rights only once a fortnight, and since he pissed me off for being completely stubborn and uncooperative, well, lets say it'll take awhile for me to simmer down, when actually this can be resolved peacefully with him for once get of his egoistic horse that is only made up of false promises from people and just think for himself once. But no, I'm not putting myself in crossfire anymore. I am a completely different woman than who I was before, therefore I do not believe in sitting tight and letting some scumbag berate you on the past. For what I know, the past is history. Now its all about my babies and their welfare. Its not even about me in need of a partner. It all goes back to Aina and Nabilah, what would make them happy and be better children in the future.

If you really do not want to separate the children, then just let go of the custody to me. Let them stay in my house, let Aina go to school where she is suppose to, and you can come visit all you want, anytime with alternate weekends at your place. And if I need to travel, then you keep both, and we take turns during festive holidays. But this offer only goes one last time - the same offer I gave you 2 years ago when we were trying to resolve prior to going to trial, but you declined. And perhaps in time we can be friends again for the sake of our kids but for the time being do keep your distance because as I said, I'm a completely different woman now. You don't know me anymore. This offer is only valid till next hearing in court, so if you are really serious in settling this fast so that you can move on with your life, then your lawyer needs to speak to mine before Tuesday. Once the court decides, it will be more rigid and tedious for you. And I consider that you have been warned.

Despite Aina telling me that she wants to live with you, I still miss my little angel and sometimes I can see her face when she was just a babe, looking at me with her big dark eyes, and I would say, you have the most unique eyes.... my unique eyes (Aina Nadhirah).

2 comments:

HaZe said...

Maybe he's just bent on being pigheaded. Children in divorces always suffer, but there's really no need to prolong the matter. Just becoz u have sole custody doesnt mean he cant see his kids, right?

It's really all up to him, if he really loves his kids as he claims to do, he should think about the kids' future coz passing them around like that will definitely impact the kids negatively. It's no way to grow up!

Ask him to put himself in the kids' shoes for once, would he like to be living in 2 alternate places for the rest of his life?? He needs to know its not all about him, but his KIDS!

Manja M said...

Well what to do Haze.... its hard to make people see when they don't want to see.

AS for seeing the kids, he could definitely see them, as long as he just sees them and not get involved with my life anymore. Its too much heart pain to last a life time. Besides, I've changed. He doesn't know me anymore.