Friday, March 5, 2010

Change..........

Its March and we celebrate the first signs of Spring.... despite living in a two climate country, the four seasons still affects a lot of aspects of my life. Although Malaysia is sunny and rain year round, I can feel the first bloom of flowers which to me is a sign for change and new things to come.....

Yes, I have changed. I do admit. These past 6 months have been one of the most heartbreaking experience of my life, which luckily I have survived through and thus definitely will make me more prepared for the future promised to me by the Creator. Like I always say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. God tests the best of us, I believe that with all my heart. Whatever difficulties that I can overcome I will, those that I have trouble with, God will help definitely. This is my faith, though some may think I'm too optimistic, its okay. Beliefs and faith are an individual's own perception.

I have somewhat rather disappeared from the social scene. Its not that I do not appreciate the many people I know, but sometimes you need time to just step back and evaluate your life and the people around you. And maybe that is just what I am doing now. Too many heart breaking truths that emerged recently has caused me to thread more carefully than before. But it doesn't mean that I don't enjoy myself, nor did that crazy hyper active bubbly coffee addicted superwoman changed into some quiet sleeping beauty. I'm still me, just a little bit more careful.

I've also decided to concentrate on my business and make it work. A friend told me that I can achieve whatever I want in 10 months or 10 years depending on myself - how focused am I to reach my goal? I am definitely focused now. I have decided to put all my relationships on hold and concentrate on getting my business up and running. It is actually wonderful to be single. I can do whatever I please, go out with whoever I want and go wherever I want, whenever I want. What else do I want?

Yeah, perhaps I miss having a guy to hold me and cuddle me.. there are a lot of part timers who would willingly hold and cuddle me if I wanted to - but I find that the most reassuring hug and cuddles are from my baby Nabilah... who is not a baby anymore - she's a preschooler now. Everyday we make it a point to cuddle up for at least half an hour be it in bed or in front of the telly. Not only it is good mummy and daughter bonding, it is highly destressing for the both of us. For this I am so fortunate.

Oh well... its been an interesting day... an interesting weekend... praying for better things to come tomorrow. Oh.. tomorrow I'll be attending a Dayang Norfaizah concert.. sorry girls.. already have a date.. :)

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