It has been a hectic 3 weeks since I started my leave and resigned from my previous job. Yeah, I'm now on my own, starting anew in the corporate business world, running my own clinic guided by my two beloved mentors who both now have turned into partners. Being the young one in the company, it has been a hectic week of running around settling stuff, siting at my new office learning the trade, and having to attend corporate functions, not to mention my parties.... yes it is extremely exhausting.
Every aspect of the business must be surveyed by myself - which also includes my self-image as I am to be the face of the business. I went bonkers over shopping for new working outfits (since while i was in Govt, i had no regard for any dress code), despite being my own boss, but the clientele requires me to have a certain look, image and dressing. The daily wearing heels is taking a toll not just to my feet but my back as well.Yeah, despite looking all sophisticated and fancy, I'm actually quite simple. Everyday having to wear working clothes make me wish I could just sit in my crocs and jeans sometimes, but I guess personal comfort is for personal time - i.e. home. But the process of taking over a new business, I barely have any time for home. I'm only home to sleep and bathe, otherwise I'm at my business or attending meetings. I wish my clinic had a shower.. then it would be perfect.
In all the chaos, in all the confusion I do admit I feel a bit down. Its not because I am not happy with what I'm getting, but there are times that I feel too lonely. I guess its part of being single perhaps. Still not used to it perhaps. I just wish I had somebody I can confide in, share my happiness and also my tears, exclusively to me, who cares enough to listen and has empathy, who will worry for me, and watch out for me - basically I want someone to love me. But its not easy especially since I guess I overwhelm most men around me, so at the end of the day, I get frustrated because my partner is unable to cope with my activities and achievements. Like recently, I went for a birthday party with my closest friends, and also entertaining some of my mentors friends, yeah I was hyper and giggly, but soon after a few hours I started feeling depressed. All the singing and dancing couldn't lighten my mood. But I had to hide all my feelings until the function was over and I crept into bed at 3.30 am, and I silently wept asking God when will he send me someone who can cope with me, who fulfills all my criterias. Perhaps he has but perhaps its not time yet.
I have to attend a meeting soon. Yes I start my days early. There is not enough hours in a day if you waste any. Hmmm.........
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2 comments:
talking about 'new image'- i really need to do shopping - for a makeover of course. haha. a few cheap clothes will do - cheap ones that don't look THAT cheap.
Well we can go together, unfortunately nowadays you would need to schedule an appointment to see me.
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