Dilemma.....

Patience in a Libra is something that is quite unpredictable perhaps. When I was younger I use to have a few temper tantrums, where initially I would be very patient but there are times that I just lose my cool and bite people. I always knew that I had patience issues. Perhaps that is why time and time again God has been trying to teach me patience. Perhaps I'm whizzing my life too fast. Despite all my history, perhaps I am still not patient enough.
Recently, I did something that perhaps I shouldn't. But only time will tell. This is another test of patience. God is fair, I'm just praying that God favours me in the outcome of my actions. But, if it doesn't, I must accept with an open but perhaps bruised heart. Now its just up to praying. Many times I feel I shouldn't have done what I did, but I guess my mentor is right, at least after this I wouldn't be left out in the blue. Persistently wondering. No matter what the outcome maybe, I must be prepared. But what if there was no answer to my actions? Then I'll still be in the blue, I cannot move on and I'm stuck. Then things get really weird because I'll be asking myself why, then regretting my idiotic mistake, start to shun away but always at the back of my mind wondering, what if?
I know I shouldn't say anything about it, just keep it to myself. But the suspense is driving me nutts. Oh god..... will there be answer to my heart?