Finally some me time.....

Its been a hectic month. Seriously hectic. I resigned my job as a government doctor, ventured into the new world of aesthetics and now I own a small clinic in the center of the town. Sometimes I wake up and I find it difficult to believe that I am actually a business owner now, no more waiting from other people's paycheck. Yes, it is a wonderful feeling but scary too perhaps.
Being young in the field, I'm working extra hard with training and study to get to were my other peers are. Its a lot of work and I'm juggling time between being the boss, and being a mum. My babies are such darlings but I must do what I must do for their benefit in the future. At least they see more of me now since I'm home every night, I go to work at 10 which enables me to whip up breakfast for them. And I have flexible time to run out of the office whenever I need to. So my girls get lots and lots and lots of kisses yes? Of course they do. And also late mornings with hugs in bed.
It sounds just like the complete picture, except for my own life companion which I have a fair idea of what type of guy I can actually live with. Or rather the opposite. I know what type of guys I cannot survive with and thus it becomes an exclusion criteria. I know that I can't go for a man 10 years older than me because in my standards its too old and they would start to order me about and there is a generation gap difference that would complicate things more. Besides, if the guy is too old, he can never cope with my hyper activeness unless he's a solid healthy man, but still, if I look like 40 when I'm 60, he'd be 70 and I doubt when you are 70 you'd have any zest for life. Unless my anti-aging technologies help turn around time. Well you'd wish.
I can't go with a man who already have a wife or an ex-wife because despite being a libra and all I know I could not accept having to compete with another woman for my man ever, nor share. Some things are not meant for sharing. I'd rather live a life alone rather. Besides, I'm addicted to true love, and true love is between two people, not three.
I also can't go with a man who has no religious faith or has less faith than I do, who does not bother to practice faith or doesn't believe in God. So far, God is my ultimate lover, so if it'll be against all my principles if I go with a disbeliever. Unless he converts, repents and willing to learn more about religion and God, perhaps. Because I learned it the hard way that true happiness comes from God, when you forget about God, your life will never truly be happy.
I need a guy who can understand my need to study and achieve things. I can't live with a person who thinks that a basic degree is sufficient, or that studying is just for students. I can't live with a guy who is content with just a measly salary or the nice support from his parents. I can't stand a guy with no vision, who does not see where he'll be in the next 5-10years to come. I can't stand a guy who won't do anything to better his life. A man is a man regardless of how successful his woman is. Therefore he should act like a man, stand on his two feet and show the world who's boss. I'm sick and tired of being the one to push and lead and persuade a guy to do good things to his own life, thus I guess I've given up to majority of the man population perhaps.
I need a guy I can idolize, respect, turn to when I have problems, that can comfort me, that brings me nearer to God, make me laugh and is not with me just for the benefits that I can bring, able to love my kids as his own, respects me as an individual, loves me and would be willing to sacrifice his own comfort for me. Yeah, it sounds like prince charming from a book. But I believe that there is a person like that out there, because there is a person like me. So its not impossible.
I just need God to lead the person to me. Or maybe he has? Time will tell. Its going to be awhile before I would decide to tie the knot with a new guy. With this new business and my custody fight, it'll be at least 2-3 years before I can settle down with a new guy. My kids would be big by then, and hopefully things would be easier. For the mean time, I'll just have to place my faith in God.