Another sad news....

A lot of people often misunderstand me, until they really get to know me well. And once you get listed as one of my bestfriends, then you for surely know that you are treated like family, and even your family is treated like family. Perhaps that is the one thing about me that is different from a lot of other friends. If I say you are my bestfriend, it would mean that I know you inside out, and your family inside out, your parents, siblings, aunties and bestfriends. I would be ready to offer my assistance and be there, despite weddings, small parties, deliveries or even in grievances.
Of late, I have been getting a lot of sad news. It pains me, because its sad news from my closest friends, my bestfriends and thus I regard them as family. Like today, I stopped by HKL to visit my old best friend of mine since highschool. Her dad was admitted for gastrointestinal tract bleeding (bleeding from the gut) and the doctors haven't given them a reasonable answer despite being in the hospital for 1 week. Luckily, one of my acquantainces is a senior MO there, so I did manage to get some answers although they did not want to commit to any diagnosis. So I tried explaining the best I could to her father, who had watched me grow as a young teenager, into a successful lady. Yes, that is how close we were. I would say more than 10 years perhaps? Unfortunately, to me the prognosis is quite dim. With symptoms of malena and anaemia as low as 3.5 in 1 month, I would expect something sinister like a malignancy, or angiofibroma, or something critical. But it can also be a foreign body such as a fish bone penetrated into the ileus, because I have seen a case before during my surgical attachment. The good thing of knowing certain people, at least I know after this my best friend's dad will be treated better because his 'niece' is a doctor and once worked in HKL. Yeah, the benefits of having friends.
I thought all the bad news has ended until I received a call from my best friend in med school previously. She currently resides in Malacca, and her hometown was in Muar. During first year of medic school, my mum passed away and she was there for me to cry on, during second year, her dad passed away, and I was there to comfort her, then my mother-in-law passed away during my 2nd year of work life, she consoled me. I was there at her wedding, as her best lady, till the end of the ceremony. I know all 10 of her siblings below her. She called just now, her voice solemn. She told me that her younger brother had passed away yesterday. He was beaten up by a drug addict, came to ED with GCS of 4, had severe intracranial bleed and soon after passed away. I was shocked beyond words, and he was only 26. He was 2 days short of getting engaged to his girlfriend. The last time I saw him was more than a year ago. I cried as she related to me the story. Despite not really being there for her siblings, I regarded her siblings as my own, and she knows that I would help them out if they needed anything. And to hear one of them taken away so suddenly, well, my only comfort is that I know its because God loves him more, that is why he was taken. But the way he died, well, who are we to question God's fate? I really feel like driving down to Malacca today, but I have patients tomorrow, exams this weekend. It frustrates me because of my time limitations. But I promised to come visit as soon as I can.
Perhaps some wonder why I hold my best friends so dear. Well, if anyone remebered reading my blog, or remembered me from highschool, my family was a broken one. It is a fact that I have accepted over many years. I don't blame anyone for it, I guess everyone has some share in it. When I was younger, my siblings sort of left me out of their own activities because I was closest to my parents. Then as I reached my teens, things started to get messy when certain details of my parents were revealed. My mother fell sick when I was 16, and my dad was stressed and couldn't take the building tension. He took a second wife when I was 17, 4 months before SPM. At 18, my home was a living hell hole. My dad threw me out 9 times because I didn't get along with his new wife and because I was rebellious at that time. On the 9th time, I told my mum, I wanted to get my own apartment, which was when I rented in Vista Angkasa, Kerinchi. At 19 my mum died and things got difficult for me because my benefactor was gone. I spent 6 motnhs studying and working at the same time which led to a drop in my academic performance and soon the HEP got involved. I strucked a deal with my dad for financial help but after 3 months he told me to get married. So I married at a tender age of 20, 4 months shy of reaching 21. I accidentally got pregnant after 6 months and so I delivered my first child at 22. She was born so perfect except for a congenital anomaly of the brain that was so rare that it occurs 1 in 1,000,000,000 births. After months of anxiety, she was operated at 13 months, during my final year in med school, 3 months shy of my final exam. Yes, my life was tough, definitely. And I went through all of this with minimal or even zero family support.
Then my marriage was having problems, because I had high expectations, but my hubby didn't. And being bred as a high achiever, I just can't let it all pass. I became close to my mother in law whom I diagnosed initially to have breast CA. She died after 2 years of the disease, and with her died any hope for me to live with my husband at that time. It was a tough decision, but I had to make change in order to survive, so after 2 years of argument and a second child, I finally divorced last year after I gained my dad's consent. Even with his consent, there were some harsh words that followed, which I swallowed whole, regardless. Through all this madness, it was my bestfriends who kept me sane, and thus I became closer and closer until I become part of their family, because mine was broken. But its okay I said to myself, families can come in many ways, and through my bestfriends, I gained extra families that hold strong even till this day, be it 5 years, 10 years or even 15.
And perhaps if I do intend to get serious with anyone in the coming future, well its not just about him, but it'll also be about the mum, the dad, the siblings and other extended family. So if I can't cope, or if they don't like me then its too bad, because to me, getting hooked is not just to the individual but also to the family. Its for a lifetime ain't it?