Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2009

Its 1st Syawal finally, and there goes the fasting season. I am a bit sad, I like Ramadhan a lot. Its the one month in the year that I actually behave a little bit more than my usual self.

This year's Raya was anticipated to be one of the hardest for me. Both my babies are with their father, my dad went back to Sarawak, and I am no longer working with the hospital. Furthermore, with the Company issues, I barely had enough to pass the weekend.

But this Raya, in all my Rayas was actually the most meaningful since my mum passed away. For the first time in many many years, I'm starting to have faith with my family. In my most dire time of need, they have come to aid, as much as they could - something that I wouldn't imagine if it were few years back. Perhaps, after seeing how hard I try to make life a better place for everybody, finally they have come to understand who I really am, how my heart ticks. They understand how much I love my current business, and how hard I am trying to save it - to the point of sacrificing my own necessities. My father acknowledges my passion, my brother supports my cause, and my sisters pray for my success everyday.

So I celebrated Raya at home. I got up early for dawn prayers and immediately went to kitchen to start the day's menu. My sisters wanted Laksa Sarawak. Unfortunately, I took too long, that by the time I finish, showered and changed to get ready for Raya prayers that it was over before I managed to leave the house. I guess the live telecast started late, I was depending on it to gauge my time.

My younger sister came over for breakfast, Laksa Sarawak and chicken rendang. My dad called from Sarawak, and we packed food for my elder sister who lived in Shah Alam. It turned out all of us were wearing green today and we had a mini photo shoot in my sister's house. Around noon, we went to visit my mother's grave, said a few prayers and as usual I left her my signature rose.

I was dead exhausted by the time I reached home. It rained and I found myself in the comfort of my silk duvet. My youngest sister followed my other sister, so I was mostly alone. I needed the rest. They came back again for dinner, since there was so much food in the house.

Overall, I was very happy. In my sadness, God showed me something else that brought me joy. The only upsetting thing for the day, was a promise unkept. At least have the courtesy to call or text to say that you can't make it. I would definitely understand. It is after all Raya. Likely you would have been caught up elsewhere.

Still, I'm not going to let one minor issue spoil my day. Happy Hari Raya everyone. Maaf Zahir Batin.