Living with a Toddler - Part 1....

It is not uncommon to hear screams of dismay, "Nabilah... Nooooooo........." if you come by my house nowadays. Living with a toddler can be tricky especially when its just you and me. But I've managed for the past 1 months plus, despite the difficulty in getting a maid, I have finally resorted to bringing my kid to work most of the time unless there is some urgent discussion, then I would send her off to a trusted family or friend.

The thing about Nabilah is that despite barely being 2 years and almost 5 months, she is quite determined to get her way in everything she does, perhaps a complete photocopy of the original gene donor (i.e. myself). Luckily, I've managed to master the art of negotiating with a toddler, thus at times its more of an open discussion on what we do for the day. For instance, if today she already watched her Tom & Jerry show till 10 pm, then the next day, I would negotiate to get to watch CSI or House. Usually she would be quite persistent on her decision, to the point that I have memorized most of the T&J cartoons, but with the proper deal, I do get what I want.

Same goes for food selection. Luckily we eat almost the same thing - noodles, pasta, some rice, chicken, fruits and tons of chocolate. On top of that she has her trusted milk bottle which I can't seem to wean off yet, probably a lot to do wit the stressor of having divorced parents and separated from her only sibling. Well, she's only 2+, hopefully by 4 she stops on her own, just like the pacifier. She stopped at 1 year because I told her it didn't look pretty on her. Okie, so perhaps I was a bit hard on critism.

Bedtime for Nabilah is around 10 pm, and it is a compulsory must that I read to her before she sleeps. Her favourite book is "Hands are Not for Hitting" by Martine Agassi. Occasionally, there are princess stories, goldilocks, red riding hood and other short fairy tales. She would jump on bed with a bottle in her mouth, one hand on the book shoving to my face, but before that she gets my elmo for me to hug (yeah, she knows I must have my elmo) and choose her favourite pillow.

Recently, a guy friend of mine came over to put some stuff at my house. We were chatting about all sorts of things, but Nabilah seemed restless while the guy was around. She kept calling me, wanting me to sit and watch TV with her. If I didn't know better, I would say she was jealous that I was talking to him rather than her, or perhaps she sensed that I liked the guy or perhaps vice versa. Well anyways, afterwards I watched tv with her as usual our routine while asking what she wanted for dinner. She wanted rice with fried chicken, so I went to the kitchen to whip it up for her. I was quite quiet that day because I was having sore throat, and running a mild temperature. When I got back to the living room, it was a complete mess with paper everywhere and water dripped on the carpet, and chicken bones and toys thrown in every direction. Talk about vengeance. She had my cat pinned down on the carpet, and I scolded her for doing so and released my poor boy from her clutches.

I cleaned up the mess, yes I admit I am a known OCD case for cleanliness. The only way I seem to be able to stop my compulsion to clean repetitively is to not be at home. I picked up my child and hugged her tight. "What's wrong baby?" I asked, as she dug her face into my chest. "Its okay darling, what are you upset about? Mummy loves you, mummy will always love you. Regardless if mummy were to have any other man in my life, but mummy will never forget my babies, okay?" She looked at me with her cheeky pixie-like face and mouthed out "Mumma" and smiled. Then she pointed to her bottle and said "Shu..". So much for intellectual conversation.

Being a single mum is not easy. Living in with a toddler isn't easy too. Although in my heart I really wish to have a companion, a guy to love and love me in return, but the needs of my little ones, how emotionally affected they are even at an age so young. Perhaps next time I should do what I always do, keep all the guys I know out of sight until a certain time they are able to accept a new man to the house. Perhaps a year, perhaps 2. Well, in that case I'm not in a hurry then.