It has been a terrible few weeks of emotional instability and agony. I guess I was in deep shit before, but now I'm just looking at the bright side of life. I mean, things happen for a reason don't they? That is what I believe, such as what Sir Isaac Newton said, for every action, there is an equal opposite reaction. Theory of momentum if I am not mistaken, I left physics ages ago.
I remembered learning something in religious class about accepting things as they occur and for everything that happens, happens for reasons that only God will know. It brings back to the story of Prophet Moses after a conversation with God, was asked to spend time with one of his prophets - Haidir if I'm not mistaken the name (okay memory a bit rusty). The other prophet told Musa that if he wants to follow him, he must not question whatever he does. I read this from an old text in jawi, i think there were a few versions of this story. Well anyways, the prophet went to a town and saw a small boat and he made a hole in the boat when he knew that it was a poor fisherman's boat that he needed to use to catch fish, then he went to another village where there was a small boy and he killed the boy. In another village, he helped a few disbelievers erect a god statue. Of all three times Moses lost his patience and questioned the other prophet until the third instance, the prophet told him that they had to part their ways because Moses had breeched their agreement, and he explained his actions to Moses - based on what God told him to do and what would happen and only then Moses understood. The story of the boat was that by making a hole in the boat, the fisherman could not got to sea that day and there was a great storm and he would have died and left a widow with many kids starving instead if he did go. The little boy was killed because when he grew up he would become a very cruel man, and the statue of the 'god' was erected because beneath it was hidden some fortune for some orphans who will discover them later once the disbelievers have gone. If not the disbelievers would have found the fortune and the orphans would have had none. So I guess the story wanted to demonstrate that God works in mystical ways.
So when things get tough, I start thinking about the story and wonder what is God intending for me. I believe that everyone you meet and know, you meet and know for a reason, I mean that is the purpose of all interaction. If you gain nothing from interaction with people or your surrounding, might as well we all live isolated on every planet God has in the universe. You will learn nothing and gain nothing.
My emotional agony is great, but I'm learning to be content with what I have. A friend told me that sometimes bad things happen because God wants us to be closer to him. I believe the same, I believe that we are just like children, despite how old we are, and God teaches us through life's experiences, and we just need to be patient and understand what lesson that God is trying to teach us, then only will we reach success and happiness eternally.
Despite whatever that is happening or has happened, I'm extremely grateful that I still have my health, my brains and my family & friends to help me pull through. Although life is extremely lonely at times but perhaps its not the right moment. For now I need to concentrate on closing that previous chapter in life, then only can I start a new one. Praying God give me all the strength, the patience and the knowledge to do so. Amen.