Reflections.......

I know I haven't been updating my blog in quite awhile. I guess with all the happenings occurring around me in the past 2 weeks have actually left me dumbfounded a bit. Or perhaps there is a missing piece of the problem puzzle that I have yet to discover.

Oh well, time is of the essence. There is so many things to do, so little time and everything needs patience. I am not without fear that whatever I am working for collapses on top of me, but I bear in mind that our Creator will never test a subject unless he/she has the capability to overcome it and to Him I pray for strength in whatever I do, and to Him also I rest my doubts.

The events in the past 2 weeks have been pretty much amazing. I met new people, gained new allies and I am more confident with myself now. I got a glimpse of a new love, despite the many issues surrounding it, but in time God will reveal the true purpose of the encounter. I felt a love torn from my heart one day when I was working at my desk - I have a feeling that my old lover has finally tied the knot with his new girl. Despite praying for his happiness and that he find his companion before I did after our divorce, I must admit I did feel a pang of pain that morning as if a part of me had suddenly dimmed out. It could all just be my feelings - but if he has remarried, then I wish him all happiness. If not, then I hope he would soon. He was always useless without a woman.

As for the flame I've been trying to court for the past 2 years, I've decided enough is enough. It is time to move on. He knew what I wanted, he knew my intentions but if he has chosen as such then what can I ever do about it? God knows what's best for me, although I prayed for him, maybe he isn't the best for me. It is better to be with someone who wants you rather than someone that doesn't want me and just takes me out of sympathy. Although some nights I do admit I think of him, and I have a feeling he thinks of me too. But God always knows whats best for his subjects and I have faith he will guide me to the right person.

In my desperation I told God that if I remained single till the end of the year, I'd pledge myself completely to my work and remain single till I am 35. But I guess God doesn't want me to be single till I am 35, I suddenly find myself in a relationship with a guy I have just come to know.

I am a great believer of miracles and I believe that God will not forsake me. God never left me, it is me who forget sometimes and He needs to constantly remind me. But for this new year, I am praying that God makes my dealings easier so that then perhaps I could settle down with a nice guy and start the next chapter of my life.