I know I haven't been updating my blog in quite awhile. I guess with all the happenings occurring around me in the past 2 weeks have actually left me dumbfounded a bit. Or perhaps there is a missing piece of the problem puzzle that I have yet to discover.
Oh well, time is of the essence. There is so many things to do, so little time and everything needs patience. I am not without fear that whatever I am working for collapses on top of me, but I bear in mind that our Creator will never test a subject unless he/she has the capability to overcome it and to Him I pray for strength in whatever I do, and to Him also I rest my doubts.
The events in the past 2 weeks have been pretty much amazing. I met new people, gained new allies and I am more confident with myself now. I got a glimpse of a new love, despite the many issues surrounding it, but in time God will reveal the true purpose of the encounter. I felt a love torn from my heart one day when I was working at my desk - I have a feeling that my old lover has finally tied the knot with his new girl. Despite praying for his happiness and that he find his companion before I did after our divorce, I must admit I did feel a pang of pain that morning as if a part of me had suddenly dimmed out. It could all just be my feelings - but if he has remarried, then I wish him all happiness. If not, then I hope he would soon. He was always useless without a woman.
As for the flame I've been trying to court for the past 2 years, I've decided enough is enough. It is time to move on. He knew what I wanted, he knew my intentions but if he has chosen as such then what can I ever do about it? God knows what's best for me, although I prayed for him, maybe he isn't the best for me. It is better to be with someone who wants you rather than someone that doesn't want me and just takes me out of sympathy. Although some nights I do admit I think of him, and I have a feeling he thinks of me too. But God always knows whats best for his subjects and I have faith he will guide me to the right person.
In my desperation I told God that if I remained single till the end of the year, I'd pledge myself completely to my work and remain single till I am 35. But I guess God doesn't want me to be single till I am 35, I suddenly find myself in a relationship with a guy I have just come to know.
I am a great believer of miracles and I believe that God will not forsake me. God never left me, it is me who forget sometimes and He needs to constantly remind me. But for this new year, I am praying that God makes my dealings easier so that then perhaps I could settle down with a nice guy and start the next chapter of my life.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Writer's bloc....
To many things happening in the past few days that have made a dramatic change to whatever I'm going through now. I have a lot of entries to write - as usual my year end recap, my new year resolution and the many activities I have been going through the past few days which included a retreat with my NGO, new friends and connections, new love perhaps........ unfortunately, with my extremely hectic schedule, the lack of sleep, rest and proper meals - it is difficult to write. I need a holiday definitely, praying that what is promised to me, today and tomorrow materializes. Perhaps I should just book myself into a hotel this xmas, just to rest, somewhere near my clinic so that I don't have to worry about driving and opening shop. We'll see.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Its almost the new year.........
This coming Friday will be the New Year for the Islamic calender. In another 2 weeks, is the new year according to the Gregorian calender. Time flies so fast when you are facing a lot of things at the same time. But I believe the worst is almost over. God is guiding me to be very patient with what transpired in the past year.
A lot of new things occurred in this past year. A lot of drama and obstacles that I had to go through. But looking back, I believe that everything that happened, happened for a reason - which was to make me grow wiser, stronger and more confident with myself.
I made new friends, I found love, I lost friends, I lost love. Perhaps this was the most difficult part of the year that I had to come to terms with. Silently, I sometimes still cry out of loneliness. I am after all just human. The issues with work, well, although stressful and in dire need of a solution, I face it with a more positive outlook. I have worked my hardest in the past 3 months, and I have faith that God will help me figure things out.
It is almost the new year, it is time to review my resolutions and plan for new ones. Hopefully I did achieve most of the things I set out to do this year. I wonder what's installed for me next year?
A lot of new things occurred in this past year. A lot of drama and obstacles that I had to go through. But looking back, I believe that everything that happened, happened for a reason - which was to make me grow wiser, stronger and more confident with myself.
I made new friends, I found love, I lost friends, I lost love. Perhaps this was the most difficult part of the year that I had to come to terms with. Silently, I sometimes still cry out of loneliness. I am after all just human. The issues with work, well, although stressful and in dire need of a solution, I face it with a more positive outlook. I have worked my hardest in the past 3 months, and I have faith that God will help me figure things out.
It is almost the new year, it is time to review my resolutions and plan for new ones. Hopefully I did achieve most of the things I set out to do this year. I wonder what's installed for me next year?
Monday, December 7, 2009
New Moon.....
I thought I may just do a short review on New Moon, the sequelae for Twilight since I've watched it. I saw it on the unofficial premiere night along side my two very best friends who are absolutely obsessed with Twilight and Edward Cullen. In the spirit of friendship, I attended the premiere and helped out with the goody bags just to support their cause. I am not a Twilight fan. Don't get me wrong, I love Vampire stories and Werewolves, but Twilight was just not really my thing. So I'll try not to be as bias as possible.
The opening scene was Bella in a beautiful field with Edward, when she suddenly come across an old lady, who looked exactly like her grandmother. She called to her, but she didn't reply, and then she was standing in front of the mirror and saw that old woman, next to Edward, and when she looked at herself, she was the old woman. It was a nice touch to describe Bella's dilemma of growing old when Edward remained young. She woke up with a start and it was her birthday. She wasn't too happy people wishing her happy birthday as it reminded herself of growing older, whilst Edward remained as how he is. Later that day, she was at the Cullen's celebrating her birthday when she cut herself on paper and one of the vampires tried to make a hit for her, which Edward stopped. But flung her across the room and broke another table and she bled more. Figures.
After the commotion ended, Edward sent Bella home. Subsequently, he was absent from school and then he came over to tell her that he was leaving. Bella wanted to come along, but he said no. This was a touching scene. So then Edward was gone. Bella went into major depression, refusing to socialize, until a few months later, she decided to get on with her life. She became close to Jacob and Jacob was highly interested in her. But then Jacob changed, and then refused to see her, and again she was thrown into desperation. Oh, I forgot to mention that whenever Bella tries to do anything crazy, she'll see Edward telling her not to, and you could guess went on a high adrenaline rush streak. She learns a secret about Jacob, which made them friends again.
Oh, and the other vampire, Victoria came back to kill her. But the wolves stopped her. Bella on the other hand, missing Edward, tried cliff jumping just to see him, ended up drowning but was saved by Jacob. Victoria was in the water too, but didn't manage to get to Bella before Jacob. Afterwards,Edward tries to call Bella at home but Jacob picked up saying she wasn't there, and that her father was attending a funeral. Thinking that Bella has died, Edward decided to send himself to Rome to get himself murdered by the Vampire overlords. Alice goes back to town to pick up Bella to save Edward.
In terms of storyline, I almost vomited because it dragged so much. There was just so much drama, that it was just like a soap opera. But I really have to give it to Bella, because her character potrayed a very unique mix of emotions which was actually very good and I guess people can relate to her. The cinematography improved a lot from the earlier movie, the effects were smooth. There were a few questions hanging, such as what happened to Victoria? I mean, I would have expected more from her rather than just a short chase around the woods.Plus the Roman scene was too short, should have elaborated a bit more. And Dakota Fenning's part was too little. I guess some fans felt a bit disappointed.
Overall, it is still watchable if you like romance movies with a little bit of action. Or if you are a die-hard Edward Cullen fan, or if you like young guys with 6 packs (Yes, there were some nice male bods featured). Although many Twilight fans do admit, the first twilight storyline was far much better than this one, but I guess the half naked guys won more votes.
The opening scene was Bella in a beautiful field with Edward, when she suddenly come across an old lady, who looked exactly like her grandmother. She called to her, but she didn't reply, and then she was standing in front of the mirror and saw that old woman, next to Edward, and when she looked at herself, she was the old woman. It was a nice touch to describe Bella's dilemma of growing old when Edward remained young. She woke up with a start and it was her birthday. She wasn't too happy people wishing her happy birthday as it reminded herself of growing older, whilst Edward remained as how he is. Later that day, she was at the Cullen's celebrating her birthday when she cut herself on paper and one of the vampires tried to make a hit for her, which Edward stopped. But flung her across the room and broke another table and she bled more. Figures.
After the commotion ended, Edward sent Bella home. Subsequently, he was absent from school and then he came over to tell her that he was leaving. Bella wanted to come along, but he said no. This was a touching scene. So then Edward was gone. Bella went into major depression, refusing to socialize, until a few months later, she decided to get on with her life. She became close to Jacob and Jacob was highly interested in her. But then Jacob changed, and then refused to see her, and again she was thrown into desperation. Oh, I forgot to mention that whenever Bella tries to do anything crazy, she'll see Edward telling her not to, and you could guess went on a high adrenaline rush streak. She learns a secret about Jacob, which made them friends again.
Oh, and the other vampire, Victoria came back to kill her. But the wolves stopped her. Bella on the other hand, missing Edward, tried cliff jumping just to see him, ended up drowning but was saved by Jacob. Victoria was in the water too, but didn't manage to get to Bella before Jacob. Afterwards,Edward tries to call Bella at home but Jacob picked up saying she wasn't there, and that her father was attending a funeral. Thinking that Bella has died, Edward decided to send himself to Rome to get himself murdered by the Vampire overlords. Alice goes back to town to pick up Bella to save Edward.
In terms of storyline, I almost vomited because it dragged so much. There was just so much drama, that it was just like a soap opera. But I really have to give it to Bella, because her character potrayed a very unique mix of emotions which was actually very good and I guess people can relate to her. The cinematography improved a lot from the earlier movie, the effects were smooth. There were a few questions hanging, such as what happened to Victoria? I mean, I would have expected more from her rather than just a short chase around the woods.Plus the Roman scene was too short, should have elaborated a bit more. And Dakota Fenning's part was too little. I guess some fans felt a bit disappointed.
Overall, it is still watchable if you like romance movies with a little bit of action. Or if you are a die-hard Edward Cullen fan, or if you like young guys with 6 packs (Yes, there were some nice male bods featured). Although many Twilight fans do admit, the first twilight storyline was far much better than this one, but I guess the half naked guys won more votes.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Loving myself......
Despite all the turmoils that I've trudged through this whole year, I still find myself smiling. Its true when they say when you learn to love God, you learn to love yourself more. You try your best to be an excellent individual, because God wants us to be excellent individuals. In every calling for prayer, he reminds us by inviting us to excel to glory.
God is fair, that is one thing that I purely believe. It is us humans who make life unfair for each other, but its okay, if God wills something to happen, then definitely it must be for a good reason. We just need to learn to understand things as they come.
I think God is trying to teach me to love myself more. I have been sacrificing everything for everyone around me but it was out of desperation. But now I do it out of love for God and out of love for myself.
Its nearing year end, and I have found myself calmer than when I first started. Despite the problems, the heart break and the constant struggle to maintain a healthy cash flow, I have a good feeling that things will be much better after this.
Insya Allah.
Sometimes I wish I can help other people see what I see, and perceive the world as how I perceive it - I could really make them smile everyday as how I smile. But God is all-knowing, and perhaps this revelation is something they need to find out for themselves. All I can do for them is pray.
God is fair, that is one thing that I purely believe. It is us humans who make life unfair for each other, but its okay, if God wills something to happen, then definitely it must be for a good reason. We just need to learn to understand things as they come.
I think God is trying to teach me to love myself more. I have been sacrificing everything for everyone around me but it was out of desperation. But now I do it out of love for God and out of love for myself.
Its nearing year end, and I have found myself calmer than when I first started. Despite the problems, the heart break and the constant struggle to maintain a healthy cash flow, I have a good feeling that things will be much better after this.
Insya Allah.
Sometimes I wish I can help other people see what I see, and perceive the world as how I perceive it - I could really make them smile everyday as how I smile. But God is all-knowing, and perhaps this revelation is something they need to find out for themselves. All I can do for them is pray.
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